I Have Chronic Pain, I Just Hurt. Stop Asking Me Why.
Image Credit Meme the Sick Away
I've Battled Invisible Illness Longer Than I Can Remember
I have battled chronic pain and invisible illnesses for more than half My life. There was a time where I would go to the hospital multiple times a month as undiagnosed spasms wrecked My body. As I ponder on how long I have dealt with unexplained pain, My mind drifts back to high school. I would get so ill at times that I could not walk without pain. My mother never believed Me, having pains the doctors could not explain and problems that she would not relate, I did not find out what was wrong with Me until I was nearly 30 years old.
Years of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse had left Me severely traumatized and emotionally fractured. At the age of 30, I was diagnosed with a slew of invisible emotional dysfunctions along with chronic pain from Fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is an emotional pain that presents as physical. It causes the nerves to overstimulate, which is painful as hell.
I have tried cortisone injections, hot baths, every massage machine known to man, heating pads and blankets, bi-weekly massages, and everything else recommended and I STILL hurt. I suffer from chronic pain. 2020 brought new understanding to old pain, like the sore spots on My face that turned out to be lupus, an autoimmune disease that attacks your body from the inside, more pain.
People Who Haven't Lived With Chronic Illness Often Misunderstand it
I have learned to be open about My health, even more, I have learned to be vocal about My pain and limitations. Somehow, it never feels like I have done enough. Inevitably, it will happen again, I will mention My pain or gracefully bow out of an invitation or opportunity due to My pain and someone will ask the dreaded questions. I am so tired of hearing, “what’s wrong”, “why are you hurting so bad?” and the worst of all, “what do you be doing to yourself to be hurting so bad all the time?”
It is so offensive when I must keep explaining that I suffer from chronic pain and invisible illnesses. I do not have to do anything to be in pain, at times, breathing is painful. Spasms decide when they will shoot through My body recklessly. Pills can take My pain and steal My whole day at the same time. I too often must decide if it is better to hurt today or be able to think clearly.
Those who have never experienced chronic invisible pain could never imagine what it is like to be in constantly increasing pain that you cannot control.
If someone you love suffers from chronic or invisible illness, be compassionate to the fact that there are so many unforeseen side effects of not only the illness, but the treatment involved.
Here is a list of things you should NOT say to someone who suffers from chronic pain.
· You do not look sick. (What does SICK look like?)
· There is always someone worse off. (Does that mean we cannot complain about our pain?)
· I hope you feel better soon. (I will not. Do you know what chronic means?
· Have you tried…? (Yes, I have tried whatever you have heard of and plenty you haven’t heard of
· You are too young to be sick and in pain. (Great, tell My illness that.)
Instead, have some compassion with your loved one, even when you cannot understand what they’re going through. The best thing you can do, if you really care, is to research their illness. Learning more for yourself about what they are going through will not only help you understand their illness, but how you can support them through it.
Learn How To Support Your Loved One With Chronic Illness
Below, you’ll find links to two great articles I found on supporting someone with chronic pain