I Spoke This Life Into Existence


I wrote the following post in December of 2016 as I prepared Myself to start the new year. I told everyone where My path was headed but people didn't want to believe Me.

2017 Sapphire…Who Is This Chameleon Now?

I’m living a double life (or maybe triple lol ) but I’m definitely living more than one. I appear online through My photos to be a vixen, a woman of the world who can make men fall to her feet. That’s a part of Me but not one I let out regularly. I play vixen. Those who only see My words and never My pics would think I’m a nerd. Outside of My modeling, I am a paid blogger who writes 3 days a week for an urban blog. I am a magazine columnist for a monthly mag and on staff for another urban magazine, which I write for bi-monthly. Additionally, I work on My own writing projects and am completing My first book of erotic stories. I also run a talent promotion and resource website. I build websites. I love to help people reach their dreams as I’ve been lucky enough to do a few times. I love knowing I’m on the cover of a book and magazines. i love that My xxx business led me to the top. I fucked the man himself, Ron Jeremy in 2012. I am ecstatic that My talent promotion business is opening a whole different set of doors for Me. I can’t wait to add published author to the list. Outside of My work, I spend most of My time on the couch honestly. I love to spend a day lost in documentaries, a good book, or raunchy cartoon. I’m a pothead. I’m generally quiet because I find that the people I send time around are not as intelligent as I and we can’t communicate on a level I feel peaceful on. I hate arguing with an idiot or trying to explain something to someone whose mind is closed. I rather tell them just do your own damn research and shut up. I LOVE to agree to disagree. It keeps the peace.

I don’t date. I tried. I quit. Men suck, no seriously. They look at Me and form and idea of what I am, what they want from Me and they run with it. They don’t give a fuck that I don’t want the same. I’m tired of saying no more than once, tired of fighting men off Me, tired of men hanging around Me thinking I’m going to be the fantasy they’ve concocted in their heads. I’m not, I’m just plain ol’ Me. So i don’t date. I have been on one date this year with a new person, it was horrible. He showed up for dinner wearing open toed sandals. Mind you i had rushed home from an outing with My nephew to change into ‘dinner clothes’ and he shows up looking wtf. I took him to a diner instead of our original dinner plans and never saw him again.

I’m spoiled and not stuck up, but tend to have more class than other women I met. I’m cultured, self educated and very well read. I love to learn, I love all forms of the arts. Strolling museums is so relaxing, statue gardens, theater, dance, music…any art form is like life giving sun rays to me creative soul. I am not into sports but, many would be surprised to learn I have a hidden affinity for basketball. It’s the only sport I can tolerate watching . I’ll tell you something I’ve never expressed to My fans before. I see basketball as art, I think it’s because of the Harlem Globetrotters. They made basketball artistic. When you see the tricks they do and then you watch an actual game between two teams, you can appreciate the skill it takes on some of the trick shots. I’ll confess some 3-pointers ares sexy. Just the way the ball moves, it’s amazing the precision involved. That precision, that skill, that’s art and THAT shit is sexy.

Let’s see I have one son, he’s 16 so by definition, he’s an asshole right now. I love him though. Liking him….well that’s a whole nother ballgame, like football. Football ugh, not My thing at all. I’ll never even understand the scoring lol, like My son. see the connection? whole different ballgame, I like basketball, easy to understand, ball goes in the hole from this place it’s this many points. Football I run this way, run that way and kick the ball throw the ball, jump the player running by….yea raising kids..football. To many rules, too many options, each one is just a shot..this parental playbook is just not equipped for the moves the opponent be throwing at you lol kids. I almost feel like I’m teaching from the golf playbook.

I guess that’s me in a nutshell, business woman, nerd, mom, loner, single because men are jerks lol. I have much more to offer than my looks and most people don’t care. It won’t stop Me from being Me though. I've never allowed anyone to put Me in their box. I’ve always done what I want and watched others adjust. When I used to make porn and retired in 2010, people told Me My career was over. that people only liked Me bc I sucked dick online. I told them I would become a model for real they laughed.

I’ve been in more magazines than I can count and then after the book cover I was bored. I said I wanted to be a writer, they laughed. Now I have a paid writing gig and My own column. In 2017 I will add published author to the list, I will start My tour as a motivational speaker about mid-year and laugh at the ones who thought I was just some washed up chick who sucked dick online lol And at the end of 2017 I will launch the next leg of My business. My food and cooking blog. Oh yea and I build websites, do social media marketing and other cool little shit. Call me a Jill of all trades and expect to see me EVERYWHERE by 2020.

Read more of My ups and downs

#essay #lifechanges #faith

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